Whilst it would be exciting to say that Philip Taggart was raised by monkeys after surviving a plane crash in the Amazon rain forest, it simply wouldn't be true. However, when some of the things that actually happened to him are considered, we don't have to worry about making things up.
Philip was created and grown in the town of Omagh, Northern Ireland. Despite his incredible strength and speed, the young boy blended in well with the other children, giving an almost totally convincing portrayal of 'humanity'. Music was a passion for the young tyke, and before long he was picking up the rudiments of the bass guitar, playing an expensive Rickenbacker guitar that he paid for by working as a door-to-door land mine detector.
Academically, the poor boy struggled, still having difficulty with writing and arithmetic. However, this would would not be the disadvantage one would assume it to be - particularly in the media - and whilst studying at the University of Ulster, Phil miraculously scooped the BBC/Skillset Young Broadcaster of the year award, beating off stiff competition from the other entrant.
His teenage years saw the increasingly overconfident young man ripen and hatch, playing bass for the locally well respected Colenso Parade, a band that were much loved by all who saw them, garnering high profile support slots with Richard Hawley. Sadly, Mr Hawley was unavailable for comment on the band, or Phil Taggart, so it's only fair that we assume he'd have been positive about them.
With the band on 'indefinite hiatus', Taggart turned to the world of broadcasting, seeing a suitable outlet for someone who's only talents involve the reverberation of four strings, and the stretching of the vocal chords. Starting initially as a helping hand on the award nominated BBC Introducing in Northern Ireland programme, his tenacity led to him becoming a regular contributor to the programme, offering advice to aspiring musicians, interviewing the great and good of the music world, and generally smooth talking security guards into letting him go backstage to hang out with the stars.
After stepping up to the presenter's microphone for the first time on BBC Radio Ulster's Across the Line programme, this debut stint at presenting was significant in the most important way - it came first. After making his presence felt to BBC Radio Ulster listeners, contributing features and stories to Across the Line, the last two years have seen Phil stand in for the usual presenter, and somehow the programme has never been taken off air.
However, in 2011, Phil managed to be the final presenter to helm BBC Introducing in Northern Ireland, presenting the programme until its demise in 2012. Whilst there is no evidence that Phil was responsible for the end of the programme, his arrival being completely coincidental, we cannot rule out attaching some level of blame. There is no smoke without fire, after all.
From there, Taggart's meteoric rise to the bottom has been nothing short of 'meteoric', the top bods at BBC Radio 1 being impressed enough to offer him regular slots on weekend radio, filling in for Huw Stephens, Dev, Sara Cox and Gemma Cairney. As a super-sub, he's stood in for all of them, leaving them to tidy up the emotional debris he leaves in his wake.
Phil Taggart has quickly made a name for himself in the world of broadcasting, and the sad truth of it is that this clearly only the beginning. Which is good news for Phil, and now that he is set to co-host the prestigious 22.00-00.00 midnight show on BBC Radio 1 with Alice Levine, it is proving bad news for his enemies.
Loook out for Phil starting his new show on weekday evenings from January.
When asked if he wanted to contribute anything to this epitaph, Taggart merely responded, "I have balls the size of the Mitchell brothers' heads", a fact which remains unverified.
Coalition Talent act as live booking agent for Phil Taggart. To book Phil Taggart for gigs and tours, contact agent Charlotte Purdy on 020 7099 0050.